From composer Nicolás Lell Benavides:

When we promise to care for loved ones in sickness and in health as part of marriage, many of us assume that those vows will not be tested for many decades. What if a new and exciting romance was tested at its very inception? How do we best cherish precious moments together?

Sueño en mi sueño (dream in my dream) is a collection of six love sonnets by Pablo Neruda that explore the depth of love in times of sickness, inspired by a true story. These iconic poems use symbols of loneliness, dreams, and death to describe the feeling of being away from your lover, even for a moment. The first three songs are in compound or triple time, painting a picture of falling in love. The opening song climaxes with the repetition of “te amo,” culminating with “así te amo porque no se amar de otra manera” / “I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love.” The second is a premonition with a greatly pared down instrumentation, as the protagonist begins to consider existence without his partner (“Tal vez no ser es ser sin que tú seas” / “Maybe nothingness is to be without your presence”). The third and most energetic movement is pointedly painted as a command, imploring his lover to go on without him when he’s gone. Fast and brisk, it’s full of bravado and bravery (“Quiero que vivas mientras yo, dormido, te espero” / “I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep”). This song ends mysteriously, keying the listener to the fact that not all is well.

The last three songs are somewhat more serious, felt in simple time. The fourth song is the first time the protagonist sings with a hint of fear (“Pensé morir, sentí cerca del frío” / “I thought I was dying, I felt the cold up close”), but his resolve is reinvigorated at the thought of a lover’s glance. The fifth song features an extended intro of just the oboe and voice, leaving them to be together while he bravely implores her to go on (“Si muero sobrevíveme con tanta fuerza pura” / “If I die, survive me with such a pure force”), describing his absence as a large, transparent house where he will still be able to see her. The sixth and final song is the simplest, something of a soothing lullaby. The protagonist is finally at peace knowing that love will go on, which is where the cycle’s title is drawn (“Reposa con tu sueño en mi sueño” / “Rest with your dream in my dream”).

It is impossible to ignore the impact and legacy of Peter Lieberson’s Neruda Songs, which were commissioned by the Los Angeles Philharmonic and the Boston Symphony to be premiered alongside his wife, the mezzo-soprano Lorraine Hunt Lieberson. Tragically, Lorraine died of breast cancer in 2006, only a year after having premiered this testament to their love. This set of songs is dedicated to oboist Anne Marie Gabriele’s husband, Mike Pandolfi, who passed away in 2022.

In this take on Neruda Songs, there are two soloists: a tenor and an oboe. The oboe is the wordless caregiver of the tenor. Though exhausted, she still finds moments of joy, affection, and warmth, while he channels bravery and grace in the face of a horrible diagnosis. Many of us imagine ourselves as caregivers and prepare ourselves for the grit and determination it takes to help a loved one, but this piece also acknowledges humility and affection of the cared for.

Lieberson wrote that he discovered this poetry while at the airport in Albuquerque, my hometown. I would have been a teenager, and I’d like to think we walked by each other in the street without knowing it. Presciently, in Lieberson’s very own program note he plants the seed that inspires this set. He wrote in the score, “There is the recognition that no matter how blessed one is with love, there will be a time when we must part from those whom we cherish so much.”

While this story is specific to Anne and Mike, for whom this work is commissioned and dedicated, all of us in life will at some point or another be faced with illness and caregiving. I hope their story inspires us to cherish every precious moment with loved ones, even when those moments are difficult. —Nicolás Lell Benavides

Sueño en mi sueño was commissioned by Elizabeth and Justus Schlichting in honor of Mike Pandolfi.

From oboist Anne Marie Gabriele:

In 2009, I was reconnected with my high school sweetheart, Mike Pandolfi, in a totally random chance meeting. As our old romance was rekindled, we thought we had the rest of our lives ahead of us.

When Mike was diagnosed in 2019 with stage 4 cancer, I knew we didn’t have unlimited time. So we were married 3 weeks later and began our married life/cancer odyssey.  But the time we had left went by far too quickly. How can one say how much is enough and how much is not? It will never be enough. After a long and courageous battle with cancer, Mike passed away in 2022.

When Elizabeth and Justus Schlichting offered to commission a piece in memory of him shortly thereafter, I was overwhelmed with emotion at their generosity and kindness.  After much thought I knew that I wanted two things included in the piece: that it be a vehicle for poetry by Pablo Neruda, a favorite of mine, and it be set for oboe and tenor. Little did I know it would be a large part of my grieving process as well as a beautiful legacy to Mike’s and my relationship.

Once it was settled that Nicolás Lell Benavides would be the composer, he and I set about poring through poems, narrowing the exhaustive list to our six or so favorites, reading them to each other and bouncing ideas around. We then began the process of talking about each one in great detail. What developed from those discussions, a surprise to us both, was a new perspective on caretaking, grief, loss and life. How does one create a lasting relationship with the person who has died? Seen through the eyes of that person, what would that look like? And does it serve a purpose for those left behind? These are the themes coursing through this piece. I couldn’t have wished for a better partner in Nicolás. A thoughtful and caring person, he was the perfect choice to write such a piece as this.

I am eternally grateful to Justus and Helen Schlichting for such a beautiful gift. To my colleagues in the LA Phil who agreed to take this journey with me, I thank you for making the time. To the Los Angeles Philharmonic, I would like to thank the artistic department for agreeing to program this work on our chamber music series. 

Unfortunately, many of us have been and will be touched by cancer. I hope this piece offers a snapshot into the healing power of music.

Sincerely,
Anne Marie Gabriele